Girlfriend
by Pimpin Satan
Summary: An eventual Spike and Faye romance, when Spike finally sees Faye for herself. Set after Brain Scratch. Rated for language, drug use and suggestive dialogue. Repost, needed to reformat.
1. Gone Daddy Gone

GIRLFRIEND

I don't own Bebop, I will never own Bebop. So don't sue me, you will get nothing I assure you.

This is my first pitiful attempt at romance so don't beat me like a red headed step child if it stinks. It will be a slow burn for Spike and Faye. Partly because I don't really think that Spike would just wake up one day and say "Hey, I don't love Julia anymore! I think that I want to jump in the sack with Faye!" I'm not downing those fics, because I read and enjoy them just like the rest of you. I just don't really feel that I'm up to writing one. Besides, if you want to get technical Spike only really loved Julia in the series. That said, it leads me to this, if everybody seems OOC it is because 1) this is a alternate ending fic, 2) if they were to stay completely in character then they would never hook up! So please keep that in mind if you decide to flame me. This takes place in the anime universe somewhere after brain scratch. I'm probably going to omit the rest of the series from that point on. Lastly this has nothing to do with any of my other fics. Visitors thank you for your attendance!

Song credits for Gone Daddy Gone go to the Violent Femmes.

Chapter 1: Gone Daddy Gone

****

Beautiful girl lovely dress

high school smiles oh yes

Beautiful girl lovely dress

Where she is now I can only guess

The faded red mono racer rocketed though space on it's way home. The green haired pilot inside was not in a good mood. He was returning empty handed once again from a wild goose chase. This wouldn't be the first and even though he had been through this several times with the same result. More than likely it wouldn't be his last.

It was his only weakness above nicotine and his addiction to nicotine was immense. He would risk his life for the need of a cigarette, so you can imagine what kind of hold this mystery weakness had on him. Actually to anyone that knew him it really wasn't a mystery. It was Julia. His blonde angel. The one thing that made him feel alive. But it seemed to everyone around him that the one thing that made him live was slowly killing him. Not in his eyes, but in the eyes of those who cared about him. He wouldn't realize that they cared about him, well maybe he knew that his partner did. 

****

Cause it's gone daddy gone

Your love is gone

Gone daddy gone

The love has gone away

Gone away

He had been to Saturn in an attempt to find his lost lover. Well, actually she wasn't exactly lost. She knew where she was, it was Spike that had no clue. Every time a scrap of evidence came up that showed she had been somewhere, he was off like a flash to see if he could catch her. Every time he would come back empty handed.

It was a vicious (no pun intended) cycle. Go out to find Julia in a heated frenzy, come back empty handed and sulk for two weeks. Get a little happy, no scratch that, get very happy bugging the shit out of Faye and then wait for the cycle to restart once again. 

So was the life of the cowboy named Spike Spiegel. It was a sad and pathetic life but he had grown used to it and had no real ambition or energy to change it at the moment. Or in the near future as far as he could see. 

He was in a rut, a rut that he was bizarrely comfortable with. Spike needed these constants in his life, if they weren't there then he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He needed the guaranty that Faye would pick fights with him, he needed to know that like clockwork he would get an out dated lead on the whereabouts of Julia and he needed to know that there would be the BeBop waiting there to take him back. If one of these things were to change or disappear then he would be lost. 

Spike was like an ant following the ant train to the appointed destination. You block off his path and he loses his bearings and stops not knowing what to do.

He was conditioned. Get up smoke a cigarette or two and brood, smoke a few more cigarettes and go bug Faye, smoke a couple more cigarettes and step in dog shit, smoke yet more cigarettes then find out that there is no food, smoke even more and dodge Ed, smoke another cigarette while taking a shit, smoke two more cigarettes and go bug Faye again, smoke several more cigarettes while talking to the ceiling fan, listen to Jet bitch, then finish off the pack and go to sleep on the lumpy yellow couch to recharge for another days worth of activity. 

Every once in a while throw a bounty or two into the mix to keep it interesting. It was a tough life but he was always up for the challenge. Besides, he had nothing better to do.

****

When I see you

Eyes will turn blue

When I see you

Thousand eyes turning blue

But if the cycle were to be broken, then he really hoped that it would be Julia who'd be the one to break it. Finding her would be the only happy way to break the cycle.

Spike believe it or not did like being happy. He never was one for emotions, but love and happy were very pleasing emotions to him. He just never had any luck at finding them and by some rare chance that he did, case in point Julia, then he could never hold onto them.

They would just slip through his fingers in slow motion. It was like watching the action replay , it happened slow enough that you could've done something, but at the same time it happened a little faster than you originally thought. Thus making it impossible to do something. It was one big contradiction. But then again wasn't life really just one hypocritical contradiction?

Wasn't it better to say that you loved and lost than never loved at all? Just who made up that shit line anyway? Probably the same person who made up the old 'if you love someone then let them go' line as well. 

Spike didn't feel like letting anyone go, specifically Julia. He really couldn't wait to see her again. Just picturing her face used to keep him going, but now he wanted more. He actually wanted to see her in the flesh. To touch her again would be like heaven. 

So he guessed that right now he was pretty much in hell. Only thoughts of his angel had kept him from sinking further down into the bowels of hates. 

****

Cause it's gone daddy gone

The love has gone

Gone daddy gone

The love has gone away

Gone away

Although as time went by, it got harder to ignore the fact that this whole Julia thing was really starting to piss him off. He knew that she was alive, well as of last month she was alive anyway. He also knew that she knew that he was looking for her. 

Well he was pretty sure that she knew that he was looking for her. It couldn't be anymore obvious could it?

'I'm faking my own death so that we can live together happily ever after, what do say about that?'.

Yep, that was pretty obvious alright. If she was afraid that they would get caught by Vicious then why did she book it on her own? 

Spike wasn't incredibly smart, but he wasn't a moron either. Regardless of what anyone with purple hair might think. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Julia would have had a better chance with him than on her own. You just needed to add up the factors in your head or on your hand if you were a little slow. 

Spike was second in command to Mao in the dragons. Now last time that he knew you didn't put a bumbling idiot in that position of power. Score one for Spiegel. He also was pretty proficient at saving his and assorted others asses' on a regular basis, another point in his favor. The rest of the syndicate had written him off for dead and even if they didn't he had a trump card with Mao. 

That was three for Spike. On the other hand Julia's other lover, his former best friend, whom they were running from was a sadistic mad man wielding a katana. Ok, point for Vicious. But that still added up to Spike having the highest score. So in the end Spike would have been more than able to keep her safe. Yet she fled. 

****

I can tell by the way that you switch and walk

I can tell by the way that you baby talk

I know by the way you treat your man

I can love you baby til it's a crime

In light of this information the lanky cowboy had come to two conclusions;

One, she didn't think that even Spike could protect them from that white haired freak. Or two, she didn't really love him as much as he was led to believe. 

He really hoped that it was the first one. But a sinking feeling in the bottom of his stomach told him otherwise. 

"Fuck off!" he exclaimed before angrily punching the cockpit pod with his right hand. "Why me?" he asked no one in particular. "I don't ask for much do I?". 

The green haired man let out an exasperated sigh and then dug around in his coat pocket for a few seconds before retrieving a crumpled pack of cigarettes. After pulling one out and placing it in between his thin lips, he shoved the pack back into his breast pocket and groped around for his lighter. 

A thorough search of all of his pockets and the entire cockpit of the swordfish turned up nothing. 

"Oh, what the fuck!" exited his mouth with the cigarette still dangling from his lips while he threw his hands up in the air in defeat. 

That was his favorite lighter too. Julia had given it to him for his twenty second birthday. It was the last tangible thing he had to remember her by other than his memories.

He spit out the unlit stick in a fit of frustration and proceeded to repeatedly bang his head on the control panel in front of him. A silent mantra of 'my life sucks, kill me now please' chanting through his brain as he did so. 

A beep from said control panel snapped him out of his tantrum. He lifted his head so that he could see the small screen in front of him. The screen flashed 'communication level four' indicating that someone wanted to talk to him. Spike hit the answer button on the key pad and waited for the video window to open. 

A small black box popped up on the screen showing that the call was from the BeBop. He let out a groan and awaited Jet's lecture. On cue the chrome domed head of his partner appeared on the screen.

"Where the fuck have you been?" were the first words out of his mouth. 

'_Nice to see you too Jet'_ .

"I've been out", Spike decided that it was safer to play it neutral. 

"Out huh?".

Jet knew where he went he just wanted to bust his balls. This is what happened every time. 

The young cowboy slumped back into his seat and retorted, "yeah, out". 

"Well, if you want to come back in" the older man made sure to emphasize the word 'in', "then you'd better hurry your ass up!". 

The screen went blank, Jet had cut the connection. 

That meant that he was in a bitchy mood. As soon as Spike set foot into the ship he would probably get his ass reamed. That would last for about two days and then things would go back to normal. 

If you could really call it normal. The cycle would begin once more until Ed found a new lead on her tomato to set it all back in motion once again. 

The lanky man in the star ship wasn't sure whether or not it was a good thing that they had picked up Ed.

****

Cause it's gone daddy gone

The love has gone

Gone daddy gone

The love has gone away

Gone away

Spike rubbed his temples with his left hand while he punched in the coordinates of the BeBop with his right. The ship was about an hour away. He was pretty confident that his partner wouldn't leave him behind. But how did the saying go, 'there's a first time for everything'? He wasn't in the mood to push his luck at the moment.

What he was in the mood for was a cigarette. Then maybe a hot shower, a cigarette and something to eat. After that probably another cigarette. If bounty hunting and Vicious didn't kill him, then smoking would. Smoking was the only thing that kept him from going crazy. If he was smoking a cigarette then the world was peaceful. 

About fifty six minutes and thirty four seconds after Jet's call, the radar in the swordfish started to beep. Alerting Spike that a ship was right up ahead. Sure enough, about three minutes later he could make out the worn shape of the BeBop. He closed the gap between his ship and the BeBop and hit the proper key on the pad in front of him to remotely open the hanger. 

Once inside Spike noted that the hammerhead and the redtail were missing from the hanger. A relieved smile formed on his face as he silently thanked the gods that he wouldn't have to have a cold shower or listen to Jet's bitching right away. 

The lid of the pod on the swordfish popped open releasing a rush of artificially processed air with it. The lanky pilot hopped down to the floor and immediately made his way hurriedly to the galley. 

A few minutes later, Spike appeared in the kitchen with an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth and quickly made his way over to the range. 

Rapid clicking could be heard as he lit his much needed cancer stick with the flame from the burner. After an exceptionally long drag, he slowly let the smoke exit his mouth. The smoke curled up into the air and slowly disappeared up inside the exhaust hood over the stove. 

The green haired man leaned back against the counter and took another satisfying drag off of his cigarette. He could slowly feel the tension lifting from his shoulders with each additional inhalation of nicotine. All he needed now was a long, uninterrupted hot shower. It was anyone's guess how long it would be before anyone came back, so he thought it best to jump in there now. 

Spike tossed his spent butt into the sink and lit another for the road.

Upon entering his room he stripped off his clothes and threw them into a heap on the floor next to the door. Placing the smoldering cigarette into the already over full ash tray on his nightstand, he bent down and started digging through a small pile of boxer shorts on the chest at the foot of his bed. 

After carefully selecting a pair , he lifted them up to his nose and sniffed them. That was the easiest way for a man to tell if his laundry was clean or not. The sniff test. 

Deciding that they were clean enough for use, Spike put them on, retrieved his forgotten cigarette and exited his room. 

Walking down the deserted hall to the bathroom and hearing no singing or barking clued Spike into the fact that even Ed and Ein were gone. Not wanting to question his good fortune he passed it off and entered the bathroom.

Grabbing a towel from the cabinet under the sink the boxer clad man proceeded to turn on the hot water full blast. The bathroom quickly filled with a comforting hot steam. 

He pulled off his boxers and tossed them on the vanity top and pitched what was left of his smoke into the toilet before stepping into the rare aquatic nirvana that was called the hot shower. 

Spike stayed fixed under the hot jets of water until they started to become luke warm. Only taking his body out of the searing H2O happiness long enough to piss off Faye by using her toiletries. 

He didn't care if he shaved his face with raspberry shaving cream or not. It was free and it was good enough for him. Spike hadn't bought a razor in two years thanks to Faye's arrival on the ship. Although her shampoo tended to give his hair a tad bit too much foof to it. It was bushy enough already. 

Shutting the water off and stepping out of the shower, he then started to dry himself off. After throwing the damp towel into the overflowing hamper in the corner of the room, Spike replaced his boxers on his body and tried to run a brush through his unruly mop of hair.

He often had thoughts of cutting it, but always decided against it. It would be too weird to look into the mirror and not see his hair this way.

Once again, it would be one of those things that disrupted the cycle. Besides, if you didn't like it then you didn't have to look at it. Julia like it and that was all that mattered to him. 

Giving up the coif battle, he decided that now would be an opportune time to sneak into Faye's room and steal one of her lighters. More than likely she had snatched them off of Jet and was just storing them in her room until he forgot about them. 

Hitting the button and opening the bathroom door, he walked out and turned to face down the hall way in the direction of the shrew's room. But before he could take another step forward, he was distracted by an unusual but familiar smell.

If it was enough to attract his attention , then it deserved to be investigated. 

Changing his direction and heading to the common room, Spike started to try and place the smell. As he got closer to the couch area of the ship the smell got stronger. It was starting to tickle the hairs in his nose. That's when it clicked in his head, '_that smells like weed'. _

Making sure to be silent, the lanky man snuck up to the hatchway leading into the common room. Scanning the room he quickly found the source of the smell. 

There on the worn out couch was Faye, feet up on the coffee table and a large cloud of smoke around her. 

'_ She must have come back while I was in the shower'. _

She was holding what looked to be a medium sized ceramic blue devil head. 

'_Is that a bong?'_

On cue she put a flame to a small brass bowl on top of the satan head and inhaled from a blue and black plastic tube located in the back of the pipe. After a few moments she exhaled a plume of sweet smoke and watched the ceiling fan carry it away. It spiraled around the room, dispersing off into other parts of the ship. 

Spike stood in awe as he wondered how long she had had that thing stored in her room. Even though there was an unofficial 'room rule' in affect, he frequently snooped. Jet and Ed did too, he was sure that his room wasn't immune to pillaging by his crew mates. 

He was distracted from his thoughts when the purple haired woman spoke. 

"Are you going to stand there in the shadows all night or are you going to come into the room" Faye flatly stated, not even bothering to look in Spike's direction.

****

Beautiful girl love your dress

Fifteen smiles oh yes

Where she is now I can only guess

Cause it's gone daddy gone

The love has gone away

Gone away

Gone away………

Yeah, I know it really sucked. But I'm going for the slow paced romance. Let me know what you think. It would be greatly appreciated. It might not seem it now, but there is going to be a plot. I'm laying all of the ground works for it. I also assure you that they will get together, just not all mushy. I don't do mushy. Flame if you must, but I much rather get constructive criticism. I could also use some pointers on my paragraph skills.


	2. Novocain for the Soul

I don't own BeBop!! If I did the show would have ended different

Wow, people are actually reading this story!! Although ff.net lost eight, count em', eight reviews between my three stories! Oh well, thanks for reading and reviewing. It keeps me motivated. Hopefully in the next month or two I'll be a little bit better about updating, I'm building a bebop site and it's been sucking up most of my time. Besides work anyway. I also wanted to mention that the narratives will change throughout the story. Basically it will switch from the way the last chapter was written to they way this one is. I like to pick the best way to convey the chapter for each one. It works, I promise. Ok, I'll shut up and get on with the story.

Song credits for Novocain for the Soul go to The Eels.

****

Life is hard

And so am I

You'd better give me something

So I don't die

Today started out like any other. 

I woke up at noon. Took a cold shower. 

There was no food, surprise.

Jet was in a pissy mood, again surprise.

But fortunately for me he was pissed at Spike and not yours truly. It's always better when Spike's in trouble and not me. 

As much as I pretend that being kicked off of the ship wouldn't bother me, it actually scares me to death. I've inadvertently grown used to being here. Even though I can take care of my self just fine, there's just something comforting about being in a group. What do they say about there being power in numbers? 

They might be assholes, but they're still company. Well, Ed isn't an asshole. She's the only one on this bucket of bolts that makes any use of herself. Besides me of course. 

I'm fucking indispensable. Just remember that. 

Sitting in the common room trying to paint my nails was an exercise in futility.

Ein kept licking my toes and Ed insisted on bouncing up and down on the ugly yellow couch that my sweet little ass was parked on. 

Other than the sea sickness and inability to get my nails done, I really didn't give a shit. It was Spike's bed not mine.

Let Ed jump on it with her dirty feet. Let Ein lick his balls on it. Hell, I'd let one rip on it if I was alone. 

I smirked to myself and decided to give up the nail battle just as Jet entered the room. A stern look plastered across his face.

Ed took the hint and made a final bounce to launch herself up to the pipes that hung overhead. I pretended not to notice him as I went back to my previous task now that the couch was once again stationary.

"Faye" he grunted in my general direction, "got a bounty….Ed, down here now!". 

'What flew up his ass?' I wondered. 

Ed obeyed and somersaulted down onto the couch, she then flipped onto the floor and scurried over to her tomato. Jet nodded his head in approval of her action and looked back at me while still addressing Ed.

"Get all the info you can on a man named Tiger Gray."

She simply nodded her head and did as she was told. A remarkable feat that only Jet could manage. 

He then diverted his attention to me. I gave him a look that screamed 'what the fuck do you want' and by the way his eyebrows knitted together creating what looked like a bushy mustache for his forehead clued me in that he wasn't pleased with my expression. 

Well I wasn't pleased with his bald head but that's life.

As if he could sense my thoughts he let out a small growl and got right in my face. Leaning over me so that it was impossible to finish my nails. 

"You're going to pick this guy up and not fuck up…got it?" he spoke slowly and evenly to me like I was a six year old. 

I stopped what I was doing and made eye contact with him before responding, "yeah, I got it."

I didn't want to fight with him so I just agreed. Besides, he wasn't any fun in an argument.

Spike on the other hand was a trip and a half. Even when he was blatantly wrong he would argue until he was blue in the face. Then he would walk off and brood. 

'I sure hope that he comes back soon', the thought of having to be with just these three would actually make me want to leave the ship of my own accord. I stood up and took myself and my nail polish to my room.

As I dug around for my spare ammo, a thought from earlier crossed my mind. The one about leaving if lunkhead never came back.

I really don't quite know the reason why, but that's one of the only things that I'd actually follow through on. Yeah, I always tell myself shit like that but I never do it.

So maybe that whole company thing might have been wrong. Maybe I was just here because of Spike?

Or then again it could be the combination of all of them that makes me stay. 

After leaving my room I headed towards the hanger. Doing my best to push all of the thoughts from a few minutes ago out of my head. I really wasn't in the mood to think about that shit at the moment. Besides, I was supposed to be getting ready to catch a bounty, not rethink my life. 

'_What life?'_, I let out a snort and continued down the corridor. 

****

Novocain for the soul

Before I sputter out

Before I sputter out

Upon entering the hanger, I see Jet fueling up my redtail.

He looks in my direction as I round the hammerhead. The previous look of contempt is now gone from his features. He realizes that he's staring and clears his throat as he turns his attention back to the gas line. As I approach he steals another glance at me before speaking. 

"Faye, about earlier…", he starts but I raise my hand to cut him off.

None of us are the emotional types, but on a scale from one to ten, Jet is the most emotional of the crew. It comforts me and scares me all at the same time. 

Knowing his need to clear things up, I quickly finish the whole conversation before it has a chance to begin in the first place.

"Forget it, the lunkhead tends to do that to people" ,I say. Jet nods his head in agreement. 

He hands me a sheet of paper with the bounty's stats on it. I hop up into the redtail and prepare to take off. Jet gives me a short wave and moves over to the control panel that operates the magnetic lock that holds our ships in place while in space.

The pod lid closes around me and immediately the glass darkens, reducing the glare from the over head lights in the hanger. I wait as the doors slowly open and my ship is shot out of the BeBop and into absolute zero.

Quickly glancing down at the temporarily forgotten stat sheet, I notice that my bounty hunt is taking me to Neptune. A further glance tells me that this guy is a small fry and shouldn't be much trouble at all. 

They never give me any big bounties. It is automatically assumed that because I have tits and a vagina that I can't handle a bounty over two million woolongs. It really is frustrating trying to convey to your extremely chauvinist crew mates that not all women know how to cook and clean, but they can shoot a gun and kick some bounty ass instead.

It was like trying to convince Ed to wear shoes. Fruitless. 

After a two hour flight, I reach Neptune. The bounty is supposed to be in the vicinity of a city called Presaria. Which is convenient because I'm already in Presaria. The city is small and I find the bounty drunk and passed out on a bench in the park. The day was picking up already. 

I stunned him with my taser just incase I woke him up while cuffing him. 

After dragging his sorry ass to the nearest ISSP office, I collect my reward and remove my share of the bounty from the cash card. 

My grumbling stomach directed me to a small diner down the street from the police station. It was cheap and it was pretty good. I ignored everyone's stares as I shovel food in my mouth. They had no clue as to the last time I had eaten. Let alone something edible. Once my meal was gone I resisted the urge to lick the plate and got up and left. 

It was still pretty early and I decided to take a look around to see if there were any casinos. I'm a creature of habit, what can I say.

****

Life is white

And I am black

Jesus and his lawyer

Are coming back

There had only been one casino in the whole city, but one was all I needed. They never knew what hit them. The legendary Poker Alice strikes again.

Now several million woolongs richer, I head back to my redtail to check in with Jet.

I had made up my mind while walking out of the casino that Jet needn't know about my little unplanned stop. I'd let him think that I actually had to work to catch this bounty. It was hard being a sneaky bitch, but I think that I always did a good job. 

The walk back to the redtail seemed to be taking forever, that's when I realized that I had gone the wrong way. All the excitement of cheating the socks off of every dealer in that casino had impaired my sense of direction. It was when I walked past the same post office twice in twenty minutes, that I felt that my suspicions were confirmed. 

Since I was of the female gender, I found no pride issues with going into the post office and asking for directions. Something Spike would have never done. 

Spike was the typical sitcom male. He was obnoxious, he was stubborn he was dense and he sat on the couch most of the day. It was like Bruce Lee and Al Bundy had a kid and Spike was the twisted result. 

'_Thank god he came out good looking'._

It didn't really matter if he was good looking though, he was spoken for. He had '_Julia'_, I couldn't help but wave my hands with a great amount of flourish at the mere mention of that name, like she was some kind of deity. It was like my mind was convinced that if I didn't , then a great punishment would befall me. Something very 'Clash of the Titans-esque'.

Julia, what a slut. I couldn't stand her and I'd never even met her. 

I couldn't help it though, she had Spike so fucked up it was unreal. 

That's where he was now, looking for her. If she really loved him that much wouldn't she be with him? It didn't make sense. 

Yeah, I still felt a little something for Whitney. But not enough to forgive him. Spike needed to wake up. 

Julia wasn't coming back to him anytime soon. But he would never really find that out now would he? 

I knew the whole story. Gren and Vicious had filled me in on separate occasions. I had made up my mind not long after meeting Vicious and Gren and finding out about Julia that I should mind my own fucking business.

Being an extremely nosy person by nature made this new decision in my life very difficult to adhere to. But with each new day brought new hope. That and I really didn't like to see Spike upset.

Well, more specifically upset over Julia. If I said that I didn't like to see him upset over anything than I'd be a liar. I loved to push his buttons, the feeling was mutual. I was sure of it. 

That's what made things so damn frustrating. 

Spike and I were totally meant for each other. Only I was the only one that saw it. He would get this sparkle in his eyes every time we fought. Actually, every time we did anything competitive for that matter. Just like the first time I had met him. 

But unfortunately his eyes were on Julia and mine on him. It really blew big hairy dog balls too! 

Pausing in front of the doors of the post office, I had to stop and look back at the conversation that I had just had with myself. Basically I just told myself that I was in love with Spike. Not in so many words, but still I had. 

Nothing was worse than finding out that you were in love with someone that would never love you back. But I had always been content with admiring him secretly so I should persevere just fine. 

The thoughts from earlier this morning also flitted through my love sick and delusional brain. The ones about leaving if Spike never came back. I sure hoped that he came back. I didn't want to uproot myself just yet. I also didn't want him coming back with her either. I'd slit her throat in her sleep.

My homicidal thoughts on Julia were halted when I heard someone shout 'Look Out'.

I did the usual three sixty to see where it had come from and what I was supposed to be looking out for and found nothing. 

But the direction that I should have been looking in was up. I heard a whizzing noise above me that was growing progressively louder. But yet I still never thought to look to the sky. 

I never saw that scaffolding winch coming either. Nor did I even notice in all of the time I was standing in front of that fucking post office that it was being painted. So needless to say when the winch came undone from it's perch, it landed directly on my head, knocking me unconscious. 

The only comforting thing about this whole mess was that Spike had been the last thing on my mind before I was cold cocked. I could still dream, couldn't I?

****

Oh my darling

Will you be here

Before I sputter out

Before I sputter out

Before I sputter out…..

I had been having this dream a lot lately.

I would be looking at myself, but I had no make up on. I also would be in some sort of ship. Someone that I couldn't see would ask me if I liked space. I would smile and nod my head. Then I would usually wake up. Not this time though. I saw myself in a wider view. Almost like a letter box edition. 

I also saw the face that went with that warm, loving voice. 

A man, possibly in his late forties or early fifties. He had such a warm smile on his face. Laughing green eyes that mirrored my own. 

He asked me the question and I proceeded to smile and nod as I always did. But instead of everything turning black and fading away, my attention was drawn to the small round window to the right of my dream self's head.

The moon was shining brightly through it. I remember that the moon existed, but I have never seen it since being thawed. It was truly a beautiful sight to see.

The view once again pans out and I now see that I'm in some sort of shuttle. As I take in my previously unseen surroundings my attention his caught by the screams that start to erupt from the other passengers on the shuttle type craft.

I steal a glance at the round window once more, it's like I'm drawn to it. 

That's when I see it, the moon. There's a bright flash of light that fills the ship and then the moon splits and explodes. Then everything turns to darkness. Now the dream is over.

What I had just witnessed was the lunar gate explosion of 2014. I am shaken by it and I look forward to waking up. But instead of opening my eyes to a fresh new day, I am jack hammered with a series of images. 

It's very Doctor Who-ish. I see myself playing at the beach, another sails by of me running up a hill dressed in my Sunday best. Thousands of vivid pictures flash by my head at a high rate of speed. I feel them rush by me, but I can't seem to catch them in my out stretched hands. There's nothing more I can do but commit them to memory. That's when it hits me. 

This is my memory.

****

Guess who's living here with the great undead

This paint by numbers life if fucking with my head, once again

When I woke and found myself still on the steps of the post office, I had a splitting head ache. 

An EMT was at my side asking me what year it was. I told him to fuck off and give me some drugs for my head. 

Unfortunately he couldn't until I went to the hospital and got my head stitched back together. I didn't want to spend my hard swindled money on a fucking hospital visit. So I offered him a reasonable sum to do it in the back of the ambulance.

I was used to getting and giving stitches on that shitty couch back on the ship, so being in the back of an ambulance was like heaven. Actually getting the freeze solution injected into my head before getting stitched was a pleasant change of pace as well. It beat having a few swigs of whatever booze we had available on the ship hands down.

After getting stitched up I paid the EMT and slowly made my way to where I thought my redtail was. In all of the confusion I forgot to ask for directions. I didn't feel like going back and asking now, so I just decided to find my way on my own. 

My legs were a bit wobbly and my head still hurt. It wasn't as bad as before, but it still was pretty shitty. It was then that I remembered about that dream.

I remembered that my name was Faye Matsura instead of Faye Valentine. My pulse quickened as the images flashed by me once more. Using a street light as a brace, I waited for my head to clear. It seemed to take forever, but the images did stop. Leaving me with both a sense of peace and one of confusion at the same time.

I must have wandered for hours. But finally I found my ship. Right where I had left it. I opened the pod and jumped in. Placing my newly purchased items behind the seat, I opened a comm. link to the BeBop. Jet immediately answered, a look of worry etched across his face. 

"Faye? What the hell happened?" he rasped out.

"I had a little trouble with the bounty" I responded, "but I got him". 

A smile appeared on my older comrades face upon hearing this news. 

"I'm leaving now", I quickly added. 

I proceeded to get the redtail ready for take off while Jet continued to speak. 

"Meet me in an hour at Roxio seven so I can get some money for supplies".

I nodded my head in agreement, although I regretted it soon after. The course was set and I took off.

In about an hour I landed in the Roxio seven satellite. Jet's hammerhead was in plain view in a municipal parking lot. I parked as close to him as I could get and exited my ship.

Ed came running up to me with Ein in her back pack. Jet soon followed. Apparently he and Ed were going to go grocery shopping with the rest of the bounty money.

I quickly handed him the cash card and said my goodbyes. The ship was empty and I was going to make good use of it. It was a rare occasion and I wasn't going to let it pass me by. 

Besides, I could feel some sort of emotional shit welling up inside of me and I really didn't want to be around any one for it. 

****

Life is good

And I feel great

Cuz mother says I was

A great mistake

Another hour passed by and I found myself docking the redtail in the BeBop's hanger. Much to my dismay the swordfish was here as well.

Now in ordinary circumstances I would have been all excited and relieved that Spike had returned. But after the events of this afternoon, I really wasn't in the mood to be around anyone. That and I wanted the ship to myself for a change.

Fucking Spike had to go and ruin it for me too! If he had Julia with him then there was going to be blood shed.

I exited my ship and made my way out of the hanger with my shopping bags in tow. As I passed the bathroom on my way to my own room, I heard the shower running. 

I took this opportunity to give a quick look into Spike's room to see if there was any girl stuff in there. After deciding that he was indeed alone, I let out a small sigh of relief and continued my journey to my room. 

Placing my bags on the bed, I kicked off my boots and changed into my pajamas.

About ten minutes later I made my way to the common room. Spike was still in the shower and I was going to make use of the empty common room. In my hand was a plastic bag filled with my purchases from earlier in the day. 

On my way to my ship I had come across a tobacco shop and decided to treat myself. Since I now had paraphernalia in my possession, I then had to go and find something to put in it. 

That was pretty easily done. Now I was on my way to go and use it in peace before that ass got out of the shower. Stepping through the hatch I stumbled a bit and then headed in the direction of the kitchen.

Once I had finished what I needed to do in there, I plopped my ass down on the couch and packed a bowl. I thought that I deserved it with all of the shit that I had been through today. 

Getting my memory back was not all that I thought it would be. Yeah, I was happy. But at the same time, I still wasn't satisfied. Maybe I had hyped it up so much for so long in my head that when it finally did happen it wasn't as grand as I thought it would be?

I still had a lot of questions that still weren't answered. I'd probably never find out the answers either. Feeling dissatisfied with my past I decided to fry my present with a little THC goodness. I hadn't smoked in a while and was eager to get fucked up. Dulling the world away would suit me just fine right now.

Placing the flame of my lighter to the freshly packed brass bowl and inhaling the sweet smoke felt so good. The world seemed to melt away with each hit.

I suddenly felt giddy. My senses were starting to get a little fuzzy. But not before I spied Spike hiding in the shadows by the hatch. He thought that he was so damn sneaky.

Everyone new that he hid in the shadows when ever he could. I guess that his mafia habits were hard ones to break. Just like my gambling. Oh well, the pot was making me a lot more social than I was before so I figured it couldn't hurt to call him out. No sense in partying alone now is there? 

But I had to be cool about it. Act like I knew that he was there the whole time. Who knows how long he had been watching me. Spike was a little weird like that. I keep my head facing forward as I ask him a question making sure my voice is neutral.

"Are you going to stand there in the shadows all night or are you going to come into the room?".

He lets out a gasp that's barely audible and then pops his head through the hatch. He looks a little bewildered, I don't know if it's from his fruitless journey or the sight of me smoking dope out of a blue devil head. Regardless, he looks like he could use a hit anyway.

****

Novocain for the soul

You'd better give me something to fill the hole

Before I sputter out

Before I sputter out

Before I sputter out

Before I sputter out…… 

Ok, good? Bad? This is the first time that I've used this type of narration. I'm planning on alternating this with the last chapters style. Let me know what you think. I'll try and update more often. Any suggestions or help on my paragraph skills would be greatly appreciated.


End file.
